SIBILANCE AND THE FRITH

SOMEONE SMALL SNAGGED A SOLO SIP FROM A SIPPY CUP THIS MORNING. NO, IT WASN'T MAMA. WELL, OKAY. I TOOK A SIP TOO. BUT ONLY IN SOLIDARITY.

ITALIAN

HAVING DINNER AT THE LITTLE ITALIAN RESTAURANT DOWN THE STREET.. MAMA TRIED VERY HARD TO GET HER DAUGHTER'S ATTENTION, BUT FRITH WAS COMPLETELY MESMERIZED BY THE BEAUTIFUL LADY AT THE NEXT TABLE. SHE STARED SO LONG AND SO HARD, I THINK SHE GAVE THE POOR WOMAN THE WILLIES.

AND FINALLY, FRITH DEMONSTRATED THAT IT IS INDEED POSSIBLE TO LOOK DIGNIFIED WITH A STRAND OF SPAGHETTI DANGLING FROM ONE'S LEFT EAR.

MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL

AN EARLY MORNING WALK WITH THE FRITH. NOTICE THE BAGS UNDER MAMA'S EYES - THE FRITH HAS SEEMINGLY TURNED OVERNIGHT INTO A PINT-SIZED SCREAM FACTORY. GOOD LORD THIS GIRL HAS VOLUME.

LITTLE DRUMMER GIRL

IT WAS 6AM, AND IT WAS SPECTACULAR. ALL MAMA WANTED WAS AN EGG FOR BREAKFAST. FRITH WAS SCREAMING, HAD BEEN FOR HOURS, AND WAS COMPLETELY UNINTERESTED IN THE INTELLITAINER (!). I REMEMBERED THAT HER PAPA ONCE TOLD ME THAT HE USED TO PLAY DRUMS ON TUPPERWARE BETWEEN HIS GRANDMOTHER'S FEET WHILE SHE WORKED IN THE KITCHEN. I FIGURED WHAT THE HELL, IT MIGHT WORK.

BOY, DID IT.

NEW PUPPETS

MAMA COULDN'T RESIST THESE TWO LITTLE GUYS. FRITH SPOTTED THEM IN CAPTIVITY AT TURTLE POND TOYS, AND MAMA WAITED A WHOLE WEEK BEFORE PREDICTABLY GIVING IN TO THEIR MONSTERLY LURE. THEY ARE NAMED SVEN AND OLAF. (FOR SOME OBSCURE REASON KNOWN ONLY TO HIM, SVEN HAS A SLIGHTLY SPANISH ACCENT. )

THE INTELLITAINER

I REMEMBER WHEN I WENT TO FRANCE LAST YEAR, I SAW A YARD WHERE CHILDREN CLEARLY PLAYED. THERE WAS A PRETTY RED AND WHITE ENAMELLED METAL TRICYCLE, AND SOME WOODEN ANIMALS, AND A TINY YELLOW WOODEN PLAYHOUSE WITH PURPLE SHUTTERS, IN THE STYLE OF THE OLDEST HOUSES IN PROVENCE. I THOUGHT TO MYSELF "MY CHILD WILL NEVER PLAY WITH THOSE OMNIPRESENT UGLY PLASTIC TOYS YOU SEE ALL OVER AMERICA. MY CHILD WILL HAVE ONLY SIMPLE PRETTY THINGS SUCH AS THESE. MY LITTLE ONE WILL BE ABOVE THIS COMMERCIALIZATION OF CHILDHOOD IN THE FIRST WORLD."

WELCOME TO THE INTELLITAINER 2000. FRITH WAS SO HAPPY IN THIS THING SHE NEARLY PEED HERSELF.

*SNIFF*

LIFE IS A PICNIC

TODAY WAS OUR ANNUAL-ISH ENVIROSIM COMPANY PICNIC, AND PAPA AND THE FRITH WERE INVITED. LUCY AND FRITHA BONDED OVER A SHARED LOVE OF ALL THINGS CHEWABLE.

FRITHA WENT SWIMMING FOR THE FIRST TIME AND SIMPLY. LOVED. IT. SHE REMINDED ME OF A LITTLE OLD BALD MAN TAKING THE WATERS.

PAPA AND THE FRITH ENJOYED A LITTLE BIT OF SUNSHINE IN THE SHALLOWS, WHILE MIKI KEPT A LOOK-OUT FOR SHARKS FROM THE BEACH.

AND FINALLY, FRITH WAS SWALLOWED BY A MARAUDING BEACH TOWEL.

C IS FOR COOKIE

TODAY AT OUR LOCAL HEALTH FOOD STORE WE DISCOVERED A HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE TO THE BABY MUM MUM. IT IS AN ENORMOUS TEETHING COOKIE SWEETENED WITH A TINY BIT OF MOLASSES. FRITH WORKED AWAY AT THIS ONE FOR OVER AN HOUR, AND HAD THE TIME OF HER LIFE. THERE WAS COOKIE EVERYWHERE. IT WAS COOKIE CARNAGE.

AUNTIE JENNIE MEETS THE FRITH

AUNTIE JENNIE CAME TO TOWN THIS WEEKEND ALL THE WAY FROM VANCOUVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA

FRITHA IMMEDIATELY HAD TO DEMONSTRATE THE PROPER TECHNIQUE INVOLVED IN NAKED COASTER-EATING.

AND OF COURSE, AUNTIE JENNIE ATTEMPTED TO SWALLOW THE FRITH WHOLE. AN ENTIRELY NATURAL REACTION.

A STONE FOX

FRITHA HAS STARTED HAVING ISSUES WITH EATING SOLID FOOD. MAMA WAS TRYING TO COME UP WITH INNOVATIVE AND NON-AGGRESSIVE NEW WAYS TO GET IT INTO HER.

YES, THIS IS A STONE DIPPED IN PEACH MUSH. SHE SHOWED SUCH INTEREST IN EATING A SMALL ROCK OUT OF THE GARDEN THAT MAMA FIGURED WHAT THE HELL - WASHED ONE OFF AND GAVE IT TO HER.


AND PRESTO (AND BEFORE YOU GET ALL YOU'RE A VERY BAD MUMMY ON MY ASS, DON'T WORRY, SHE HASN'T GOT ANY TEETH YET - AND IN THE END MAMA DECIDED THAT A NICE BIG CARROT WOULD PROBABLY HAVE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME EFFECT, SO FRITH TRADED UP)

FRITHA'S GOT A BRAND-NEW BIB

WE HAVE ENTERED A NEW ERA IN FRITH-FEEDING. THANKS TO GRANDMA PAT, FRITH IS THE PROUD NEW OWNER OF A SPLASH-MAT (ALBEIT WITH THAT DISTURBING NEW-PLASTIC SMELL) AND A PLASTIC BIB (WITH A CATCH-BASIN WORKING DOUBLE-DUTY AS A TEETHING-DROOL-CATCHER).

A SUCCESS, CLEARLY.

HOWEVER, THE NEW BIB DOES REMIND ME OF SOMETHING ELSE.

FATHER'S DAY

IT IS FATHER'S DAY, SO THE FRITH TAKES HER PAPA AND POP-POP (AND SOME OF US ASSORTED WOMEN-FOLK) TO THE WINCHESTER FOR BRUNCH.

PAPA AND POP-POP LOOKING SUITABLY AND PATERNALLY DIGNIFIED, WHILE FRITH BLOWS YET ANOTHER OF HER INCREASINGLY HABITUAL RASPBERRIES.

FRITH AND POP-POP DISCUSS THE MERITS OF THE BREAKFAST MENU (LATER, FRITH DECIDED THE MENU ITSELF WAS THE BEST CHOICE FOR A LATE MORNING NOSH).

FRITH (WHO IS CURRENTLY TEETHING - HENCE THE OMNIPRESENT COLD SPOON IN THE MOUTH) TELLING HER GRANDFATHER SOME EXTREMELY TALL TALES.

FEELING A LITTLE DRY, THE FRITH REACHES FOR HER GUINNESS. YES, IT IS INDEED BIGGER THAN HER HEAD, LIKE A BEER SHOULD BE.

FRITHA JANE IS FASCINATED BY ALL THINGS POP-POP.

A DAY WITH THE BAILEYS

WE ALL GATHERED AT COUSIN MARIANNE'S HOUSE FOR HIGH TEA TODAY - HERE MARIANNE DISCOVERS (AS MAMA ALREADY KNEW) THAT WHEN YOU HOLD THE FRITH, IT IS INEVITABLE THAT EVENTUALLY YOU WILL WANT TO EAT THE FRITH.

MY FATHER HOLDS HIS GRAND-DAUGHTER, WHO SEEMS NONPLUSSED BY THE MOMENTOUSNESS OF THE OCCASION.

MAMA AND THE FRITH GETTING INTO A GOOD BOOK. VERY FUNNY, BY THE LOOKS OF IT.

HARVEY, MARIANNE AND MAMA'S FATHER HANGING OUT AT THE DINING TABLE.

GRANDMA JACQUIE SHARES A QUIET MOMENT WITH THE FRITH. (MS J WORE HER ESPECIALLY DELICIOUS NECKLACE FOR THIS OCCASION.)

MAMA GETTING ALL GLEEFUL OVER THE PAW OF FRITH.

*HIC* REDUX

"WHADDYA MEAN 'LAST CALL'?! WHY I OUGHTTA ... *URP*!!"

FRED AND GINGER

FRED AND GINGER THE PIXIE LILIES ARRIVED ON SUNDAY. ONCE THEY'D BEEN CAREFULLY PLANTED, WATERED AND FERTILIZED, WE GAVE THEM A COUPLE OF DAYS TO GET ACCLIMATED. THEN WE MADE THE INTRODUCTIONS, AND FRITH DID HER BEST TO MAKE THEM FEEL WELCOME IN THEIR NEW HOME. UNFORTUNATELY THIS INVOLVED RIPPING OFF MOST OF GINGER'S HEAD. A CULTURAL MISUNDERSTANDING, I'M CERTAIN.

FATHER'S DAY

WITH FATHER'S DAY COMING UP, I'VE BEEN DOING SOME THINKING ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY OWN FATHER. FATHER'S DAY DOESN'T ALWAYS BRING BACK THE BEST OF MEMORIES – MY FATHER AND I HAD A PARTICULARLY NASTY FIGHT ON FATHER'S DAY 1983. NOW THAT I HAVE MY OWN CHILD, THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF PARENTING HAS SUDDENLY BEEN THROWN INTO PERSPECTIVE. CHILDREN DON'T COME WITH MANUALS. WHEN YOU GET ONE, YOU AREN'T SUDDENLY AN EXPERT. IT FEELS AS THOUGH YOU'RE CONSTANTLY HOVERING ON THE BRINK OF SCREWING UP. I GUESS YOU JUST HAVE TO HOPE THAT AS MUCH AS YOU SCREW UP, YOU WILL ALSO DO SOME PRETTY GREAT THINGS THAT WILL IN SOME WAY HELP YOUR KID TURN OUT TO BE A REASONABLY HAPPY HUMAN BEING. SO DAD, WITH THAT IN MIND, I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR :

putting towels on the radiator when i took a bath ~ telling me that boys were just intimidated by my beauty and intelligence when i was thirteen and ugly and lonely ~ teaching me to ride a bicycle ~ getting into grapefruit squirt-fights with me across the breakfast table ~ giving me a fairly dark sense of humour ~ letting me watch cartoons all day on saturdays when i came to visit because we had no tv at home ~ threatening to punch out the villainous mr mackan when he made me cry in front of three hundred people in seventh grade ~ teaching me to drive a car ~ picking me up from my late night job at the library and driving me to the main bus stop so i wouldn't have to wait alone in the dark ~ giving the best neck rubs ever ~ buying snowflake the sweetest deaf white kitten ever ~ and finally, for marrying some pretty terrific ladies who over the years have become both beloved role models and dear friends..

happy father's day, dad.

MASHED SUGAR SNAP PEAS

before

after

MOVING FRITHA

BELOW YOU'LL FIND SOME SIMPLE VIDEOS OF THE FRITH (GIVE THIS PAGE A LITTLE WHILE TO LOAD - AT THE BOTTOM YOU'LL FIND SOME STRAIGHT LINKS TO THE SAME VIDEOS, ORDERED BY DATE):


DECEMBER 15TH, 2005


DECEMBER 17TH, 2005


FEBRUARY 28TH, 2006


FEBRUARY 28TH, 2006


APRIL 13TH, 2006


APRIL 13TH, 2006


APRIL 15TH, 2006


APRIL 15TH, 2006


JUNE 11TH, 2006


JUNE 11TH, 2006


JUNE 11TH, 2006


JUNE 11TH, 2006


JUNE 11TH, 2006


JUNE 11TH, 2006


JUNE 11TH, 2006


JULY 22ND, 2006


AUGUST 17TH, 2006


AUGUST 17TH, 2006


SEPTEMBER 3RD, 2006


SEPTEMBER 3RD, 2006


SEPTEMBER 3RD, 2006


DECEMBER 9TH, 2006


FEBRUARY 3RD, 2007


FEBRUARY 3RD, 2007


FEBRUARY 3RD, 2007

December 15th, 2005
December 17th, 2005
February 28th, 2006
February 28th, 2006
April 13th, 2006
April 13th, 2006
April 15th, 2006
April 15th, 2006
June 11th, 2006
JUNE 11, 2006
JUNE 11, 2006
JUNE 11, 2006
JUNE 11, 2006
JUNE 11, 2006
JUNE 11, 2006
July 22nd, 2006
August 17th, 2006
August 17th, 2006
September 3rd, 2006
September 3rd, 2006
September 3rd, 2006
December 9th, 2006
February 3rd, 2007
February 3rd, 2007
February 3rd, 2007

AN AFTERNOON CHEZ WØRTS ET METROPOLIS

AFTERNOON TEA IN TORONTO WITH AUNTIES BECKY AND GEN AND UNCLE CHRIS.

"I MUST LOOK AWAY" SAYS AUNT BECKY. "THE CUTENESS, IT IS TOO MUCH FOR ME."

MAMA TRIES TO TEMPT THE FRITH WITH SOME DELICIOUS MASHED BANANA, WHILE KETCHUP HOVERS THREATENINGLY IN THE FOREGROUND.

AND THEN MAMA'S HEAD EXPLODED. THE END.

AND TO CHRIS AND GEN.. I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR YOU! AND I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET MR 80 PCENT.. AND GEN, YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY GLOWY. I'M SORRY IT IS SO HARD TO HAVE ANY SORT OF USEFUL CONVERSATION WHEN FRITH IS ON THE CUSP OF SCREAMINESS.. BUT FOR WHAT IT IS WORTH, THIS IS A LIST OF SOME OF THE THINGS WE'VE FOUND FAIRLY USEFUL..

(1) THIS BOOK
(2) THE TEMPERATURE DUCK
(3) THE ACTIVE SPORTY MODEL BABY BJORN
(4) THE FISHER PRICE BOUNCY CHAIR
(5) THE FISHER PRICE OCEAN WONDERS AQUARIUM
(6) THE BATH RING AND THE SINK BATH
(7) THE BOOK OF 100 FAMOUS WOMEN
(8) BANANAS
(9) A LIST OF THINGS TO KEEP IN YOUR DIAPER BAG
(10) ALL THE FLANNEL BABY BLANKETS WE GOT AS GIFTS. WE USE THEM ALL. ALL FORTY SEVEN OF THEM.

IF WE WERE MEANT TO BE NUDE WE WOULD HAVE BEEN BORN THAT WAY

FRITH TAKES HER FIRST BIG-TUB BATH.

CONTEMPLATING A MEMBER OF HER GROWING FLOCK OF RUBBER DUCKIES.

AND ATTEMPTING TO TAKE A SMALL BITE OUT OF "TEMPERATURE DUCK" (TEMPERATURE DUCK IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEMBER OF HIS FLOCK - HE TELLS MAMA IF THE BATHWATER IS A SAFE TEMPERATURE FOR THE FRITH. IN THE CUTEST SMALL, YELLOW WAY POSSIBLE).

THIS ONE REMINDED ME OF SOMETHING. (NOTICE TEMPERATURE DUCK HEADING FOR THE HILLS).

YES, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.